We have five more doses of chemo before we are done with chemo and are here just for count recovery. Last time we were here I was always trying to "do without" stuff from home just because we were so crammed into our room, but this time I have decided that anything that makes us feel more comfortable is worth having! So I think I have more of my house here than at home! Ruby has all the baby toys I thought she could use! I hung her from the bathroom door and everybody comes in and laughs at her happily bouncing away. (Doctors that don't have kids really get a kick out of it). I am so happy with Ruby up here with me. It makes a dismal hospital room feel infused with life. I miss my kids at home but instead of feeling separated from them I feel lucky to at least have half of my family here. Everyone was so excited that we finally had a girl and I think the gender doesn't even matter anymore. We are SO blessed to have a beautiful happy baby to bring joy into our life when we needed it most. Things don't seem as dark as they did when we first relapsed.
Critter gets a big breakfast everyday...but is eating less and less everyday. Its the same old stuff. A week into chemo and he starts to require oxygen at night and quits eating. I know it will get worse and he will start to loose weight and he will get more tired and all of that. But I also know that his counts will recover and when they do he will slowly start to feel better and eat more and breathe better. Its becoming so predictable that we can finish the doctors sentences or say them before they start. Its all a waiting game. I am nervous about bone marrow but I just want to get started. The sooner we start the sooner we can finish. Right now Critter sleeps in in the mornings (he slept till 10 this morning) and is happy and surprisingly active during the day. All is well.
so much joy
4 weeks ago